I am just exhausted. Part of it is the insane heat happening right now. August and September are the ugliest, smoggiest, hottest months here, and I can’t wait to leave Southern California. It will probably be 3-5 more years, but I am looking forward to it nonetheless.

The other part of the exhaustion relates (I think, at least) to work. Hospice is just too much for me. Can I do the work? Yes, absolutely. Does it take more than I want to give? Again, yes. It is just so intense, all of the time. And facing death all of the time is just more than I can handle. My plan is to stay about 14 more weeks, and then move on. That puts me at this job for a year, lets my coworker get back from medical leave, and makes me feel like I’m not giving up too soon.

I don’t know where I will go from there. I need clinical experience (ie direct therapy) but those jobs pay shit and are hard to come by. I may go back to a hospital, if I can find a job on a unit that I like.

I just hope that making some changes (in a few months) will relieve this exhaustion.

Also, I cast on tonight for the Cambridge Jacket in the Summer 06 IK. Hopefully that will knit up quickly, as I have to finish my mother’s christmas sweater, as well as knit T’s entire sweater. Fortunately it is a long weekend, hopefully I can get through a large portion of the back of this sweater, and feel like I’ve accomplished something.

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